My Scandinavian family walked into an Asian restaurant when I was 4 years old. Warm beige skin color, straight black hair, flat-bridged noses and almond-shaped eyes were not what I was used to looking back at me. The women in the restaurant were friendly and kind — doting over me, in fact—but what should have been a feel-good moment was instead filled with confusion and fear as I hid behind my mom, not sure if they were going to take me from her. I spent many years struggling with my racial identity; I can remember wishing I looked like my white parents and my white friends.
10 Things Adoptees Want You to Know | HuffPost Life
I was adopted as an infant, during a time when adoption was still shrouded in secrecy. My birthmother kept her pregnancy hidden from her family for nearly seven months. Her parents and my biological father's parents agreed she would be sent away to have me. She birthed me in a sterile room, frightened, with no familiar faces and no compassion for her situation.
Helping Your Adopted Teen Develop an Identity
Adoption is already a pretty tricky subject, but parents can find it even more difficult to deal with such growing pains as a teen finding their own identity because of the adoption. In many children, the knowledge that they are adopted can also cause them to develop various ingrained perceptions about themselves and their adopted history. It might even influence their physical and mental development, and experiences.
For adopted kids, piecing together their own story can be like tackling an especially challenging puzzle. By understanding some of the challenges your child may be facing, you are better equipped to help your child fit the pieces together. What was wrong with them or with their birth parents? Did they do something wrong?